The Year in Moments

Well, bits of the year anyway. We covered most everything already in broad enough strokes, so here's an article about some of the smaller, perhaps more poignant moments which managed to root themselves into my mind grapes like various aggressive species of mould. There will be emotions, and butts, and bugs.
I guess I'll go through things chronologically, as well as I can remember anyway. I don't have a very good memory though - I had to ask Ger when it was that I played Alpha Protocol. He patted the back of my hand - "Last year, Al. That was last year." - and he shared a slight shake of the head and a sad look with my nurse. I think they're going to turn my machines off ... but I need those. I need those to play Alpha Protocol again.

Also, spoilers. Man ... spoilers, kinda. Careful now. Persona 3 - something dreadful slow approaching

This moment itself was a long time coming, and for that reason all the better. Or - all the worse, I should say. All the more tragic. My love for Aigis is well-documented here, and soon to be elsewhere too, but that was only the start. The end began after beating the last boss, and this moment comes from how everything was handled from that victory to defeat, how my emotions flowed along the way like so much snot through a sniffle-suffering snuffleupagus' snout.

Things were already tense from the realisation that I barely had enough time to finish my S-Link with Aigis before the end of the game. Panic, sheer panic ... and regretful sacrifices. I'm still pretty upset that I never quite managed to finish up with Mitsuru because I really liked her too, and it wasn't just a case of finding out about her past as with most others. I'm sorry my friend. So I did nothing else but hang out with Aigis in my free time, and with such relief wrapped things up with her. Which was totally heartbreaking in itself, but I was mostly just glad that I managed to complete this action in the time the game allowed me to complete it.

After that, things felt fine - the final boss was never going to be a problem, I had already beaten Death. I had killed Death, I could kill everything. So it was nothing but relief - that I managed to be the bestest friend to a robot girl that anyone ever could be - and smooth sailing to the expected finish line, everything nicely wrapped up.

But then ... things are strange. The game just kind of continues. Back to school, back into the routine. But - but it should be over, why isn't it over? Everything's done, everything has worked out as expected. It's like the long stretch in A Farewell to Arms when everything is going perfectly. Too perfectly, of course. In Persona 3 it feels as though school should have finished for the holidays, but everyone's just hanging around still. What are you all doing here? It's finished- everything's finished, we won. We won.

That's the moment I remember - when my stomach knotted up with dread, not really expecting the worst (if only to keep myself sane) but knowing that everything was not going to be fine. Or the credits would have rolled already. No, wait ... please don't do this to me. More importantly - don't do this to Aigis. But it happened. And as saddening as it was, maybe it was worth it for the slight smile on her face as everyone else comes out onto the roof. Because even though we were close, the closest, she has other friends too, now. She won't be alone any more.
Viva Pinata - and just like that, the spell was broken



Not sure I've ever been quite so immediately enamoured with a game as I was with Viva Pinata. I mean, come on ... I was one brightly-coloured sloth away from ripping a hole in my trousers. It is entirely inconsequential faffing about and then occasionally something adorable would turn up and look adorable and do adorable things and I could make it like me by feeding it berries - what's not to enjoy?

I had it all planned out, little wooded area over here. Nice pond here for the swimmy ones. Long grass over here. Come in, my friends, come in and enjoy your paradise. Haha, look at his little face. Aww this one's asleep haha awww. I've almost forgotten how empty I am inside.

And then my garden was full. Full to the brim. No more room, it said, that's it. You'll have to get rid of some stuff if you want anything else. Like a modern Pinata-based nativity fable it was. But there's no stable in Viva Pinata, there's not even an alleyway in which Pinata-Mary could squat and disgorge her God-forged innards destined to be consumed for our sins. No room means no room - sell things if you want to see more things.

That's all it took, and every scrap of desire to continue playing immediately vanished. All my grand plans were left in tatters by a single text-box and the knowledge that any progression would require first a compromise. I do not compromise when it comes to making a pretty garden where all the cute animals can live. Get out of my sight.
Portal 2 - robot butt

The best part of Portal 2 is probably the co-op missions. And the best part of the co-op missions is how P-Body looks if he crouches and then looks down at the floor so his butt stuck up in the air. Then, to complete the illusion, he spins around in circles. It's the best thing. The whole effect is greatly enhanced if the spinning is done on the speedy orange gel, and the player eventually loses control and goes flying off into some water and dies. It was the best of times, I swear. And then Ger figures out how to do the puzzle and tells you to stop being an idiot and stand over there until he says you can move again. Sorry :{

But ... butts. Also, hugs. Every game should have hugs. Like A Boy And His Blob and Portal 2 and ... Mass Effect? Oh my, imagine that. Garrus - I just wanna say thanks, for all the missions we've had together, for everything we've been through, for being my best friend and taking that bullet like it was nothing and not getting all weird and sexy with me like everyone else. Squdge. Everyone who isn't a human report to the bridge immediately for hugs. Not you Samara.
Darksiders - haha, yeah okay then

Darksiders is a bit silly really. I was never quite sure whether it was supposed to be silly, but it was and that's probably what I liked most about it. And the gameplay is nae too bad either I suppose. I certainly didn't wet myself over it, but it's all pretty good and grand and solid and then fantastic from time to time. Occasionally the post-post-apocalyptic setting gets a little lost amidst the mythology, but I think my favourite moments were when it resurfaced more explicitly.

Such as when Ulthane, the old smith, the Black Hammer himself decides to fix you up a new (/old) weapon to aid in your cause. What's it going to be? A hammer, maybe - an ancient cudgel, prophesised to end all injustice if wielded by a righteous hand? Nope - it's a gun. That made me smile so much. I think it's just when the game takes a step beyond the boundaries it has drawn around your expectations during the hours already played. When the game does unexpected things which makes you appreciate the effort of imagination that went into its creation. Not just a smooth, unsurprising arc from one end of the experience to the other.

Of course ... the gun's actually a big pile of wank. Useless almost. But then you get a horse which kind of makes up for it. A fire horse that you can summon out of the ground! Summon right up underneath you - that's pretty awesome.
Wind Waker - one lonely island

I never realised before just quite how far you can pull the camera back sometimes. It seems an odd decision - unnecessary really. I can't think of any other games besides MMOs that allow such distance. Maybe it was put into Wind Waker just so that you could view any of the smaller locations in their entirety. Because of reasons. I don't know. But then, once, I was standing on an island - I can't remember where exactly, why I was there, what shape the land took or what purpose it served. Just some tiny island - green grass on grey rock in dark sea. And it's raining terribly, the drops rolling from Link's sodden tunic which never quite matches the colour on the ground. And the waves are undulating around the slight coast as though they might swallow up all land entirely at any moment. The King bobs uneasily amongst them, himself some kind of tether, some kind of reassurance in the storm. But apart from us for the moment, and me apart from Link with an accidental brush backwards on the C-Stick. Equal distance between us all, the environmental sound fading out to something almost soothing, music absent in the night.

And it wasn't all of us on an adventure any more. It wasn't even me as Link on his adventure. It was Link, alone in the ocean. Alone and still, now, on a speck of rising rock which once must have been the summit of some mountain, a point so high and skinny and snow-dusted above Hyrule to be easily ignored, sheer sides never surmounted and peak never deemed worth the effort to set foot upon. The moment stuck with me - that odd and sudden separation between us, watching a hero standing isolated in the rain. Seems that when so often, so necessarily, the player and the player character are inseparable - because of you, and your selfish involvement - they never really get to be alone.


Bastion - there is my heart

Oh, it touched something did our Bastion. It wriggled its ghostly finger bones into my chest hole and fingered my heart valves like it was playing the song of storms on a bloody Ocarina. The precise moment? Of course - carrying Zulf back to the Bastion. But, really, as with Persona 3, the best part is not really the event but how it is handled and delivered and experienced. How this whole section plays with your emotions.

Rare enough that such critical events are even put into the player's hands. Funny how actually playing through important parts of a game makes them stick with you for longer, eh? First panic when you realise that you've got your arms full and can't attack anything, but that there are enemies ahead. I thought things might be over once I'd made my decision. But there are enemies, and they are attacking, and there's worry that you won't have enough potions to get you through. The UI even fades out, adds to the tension. And slowly it all changes. The shots come slower, and there's indecision - first on their part, and then on yours. Confusion. Why have they stopped? Then you realise ... it's not a fight any more, you're not being surrounded but you're being escorted. Enemies as honour guards, deferring to the one good thing you're trying to do, this mess you're trying to put back together.

A tiny instant of levity as someone lets off a shot and is immediately beaten down by their superior - and that nails down exactly what's happening if you hadn't realised yet. There's no need for narration here even, let alone any other dialogue or a cutscene or an explanation. This is my favourite moment of the year - which so easily and simply conveys so much, so competently. And really sums up the artistry and understanding put into the entire game.
Battlefield 3 - a failed reunion

That's what Battlefield 3 feels like. Like trying to get all the guys back together and relive those golden days you all remember so fondly ... only everyone has grown up a bit, and they can't stay out too late really and the pub is too crowded and the music is too loud and everyone's just kind of standing around staring into their pints and occasionally checking the time. Then someone will share a story and everyone will laugh together and it'll feel like old times, just how they remembered ... briefly, until everything closes back in again and they all sigh and make their excuses and shuffle off home.

I don't like playing BF3. Maybe it's because lots of us are feeling a bit apathetic and cynical about it, not really bothered. Maybe it's because we all burnt out not too long ago on something too similar with Bad Company 2. But it seems a bit odd to go from a game that delivered perhaps the most multiplayer fun I've ever had, to one that holds no appeal, presses none of my buttons. Maybe it is simply that things have moved on, that the zeitgeist has changed.

But I think, really, the game is just a bit soulless and boring. And the unlock system for the vehicles is so unfair to newcomers and part-time players it's not even amusing. But mostly the bit about it being boring. Oh and it feels like there's been little actual care put into designing the maps for each game mode. As I said though, mostly the boring thing. Also we don't seem to be especially good at it for some reason. But, really ...
Skryim - oh, that's why I'm still going

I don't know. I felt done with Skyrim after maybe 50-60 hours. But I kept playing. Then I felt more done when I'd smithed and enchanted the best armour possible. But I kept playing. Then I finished the main quest and felt almost relieved, that here was a good place to finally stop. But, for some reason, I kept playing. I wasn't particularly enamoured or excited by anything, but after 115 hours I was still playing. Begrudgingly.

And then. Then I was exploring a bit more and I found a cool little lighthouse up on a ridge. Incidentally, the kind of location there should have been more of in the game. But it wasn't the mystery or the murders or the strange icy tunnels leading into the basement which got me - it was the torchbug in a jar on the mantelpiece. I was happier and more excited at the sight of that than probably anything else the game has offered.



It was my third bug-in-a-jar actually, and he will sit nicely in my house alongside his delightful butterfly and dragonfly friends. It's nice to give Lydia something to look at. I'm the best at interior decoration. They've just hit upon something perfect with these particular collectibles. The Stones of ... (um, hold on a sec) ... yeah, Stones of Barenziah were nearly there too, by virtue of being placed in plain sight but in unusual locations. But with the stones, they aren't interesting to look at in their own right and there's actually too many of them to really keep track of. With the jars, they're all of the same type but all unique in appearance. Plus they're all nice enough to want to put on display - which I do.

I think there's two more to find, but I don't want to look it up again in case I accidentally see where they are located. And that would spoil the fun - that would ruin everything. I guess these jars have struck perfectly on some instinct in me, of finding something special and unique and rare in this world so massive that such details can easily be overlooked. I want to find things that other people may not even know about. It's a dumb dream, and one ruined by the internet, but I'll keep at it nonetheless.
DS Games - I guess this is the end

There's been lots of good DS games this year as well, you know. A few at least. Even with the 3DS out, we still got 999 and Monster Tale and Ghost Trick - the latter of which I only recently started playing. And, my word, if you haven't given it a go please do so. Just to see all the animations - they are so unbearably adorable I want to die. I want to hug them so hard that the pressure between us melts my skin clean off. And then I'll crunch all my bones into the DS with hugs until all they find is a solid lump of calcium sitting on top of some melted plastic sitting on top of a red, wet puddle.

It has been an utterly brilliant console if you think about it. Such an amazing library of small, neat, fun, quirky and cute games you can play. All of them uniquely fitting to the platform and most of them beautiful to boot. It's something I fear may be lost with the 3DS but I hope is not. Seems as though, the more powerful the handhelds become, the more they wish the emulate the games which appear on the home consoles. As in, what the Vita seems to be trying to do. I've got no interest in that. And then the more interesting games, the ones which fit better on the platform, seem to fade into the background in comparison when they should be shining. So, yeah, get all the DS games.
Um. I guess that's an article then. I even deleted a few things and it's still far too many words for anyone to manage. Sorry, sorry. But if you made it this far then I love you and ... and I don't know, maybe we could totally spoon under a blanket later if you like? I'll put the Muppet Christmas Carol on and light some candles. It'll be great, come on. Dibs on being the little spoon HAHA TOO SLOW IN YOUR FACE.