Weekly Game Release Roundup
Posted by Gerard at 16:40 on 12 Jan 2012
Games come out on a Friday, why not? Here are the ones out this Friday, for information. You read the words and then make the thoughts and after that, it's up to you. Use the knowledge how you will, I can't be held accountable.
Heroes of Hellas 2: Olympia
What's she doing with that milk? Why is it so thick? Is she pouring it out of that jug or is the liquid coming directly out of her? And the jug is actually a tube that's attached to her womb like some sort of ancient prophylactic catheter. Shudder.
I mean that sounds extreme but in the context of the rest of this game, it's nothing. The promotional artwork is sort of terrifying. What seedy underworld have I stumbled upon here?
Who is this man wearing an unnecessarily tightly-wound loincloth and loose-fitting cape? What sort of function requires that attire, exactly? In what situation do you need a cape but no other clothes? What awful nappy-related atrocity is he so desperately fleeing from? Why has his right leg twisted so unnaturally inward? And why in all the world are those two tiny men trying to kill him?.
I AM ZEUS.
YOU FOUND MY LOCKET.
Uh huh. And your reward for finding Zeus' locket is you get to touch his muscles! No. Actually you get to administer a city by matching brightly coloured baubles in groups of 3 on a board! It's bejewlled guys! We can all just go home now. Thanks.
Weird Park: Broken Tune
Guys I don't know what this is.
Class 67 Advanced & Car Carriers: Expansion for Railworks 3 Train Simulator 2012
And that's it. Never again.