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News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

A rant about exclusive DLC, featuring MGS5 and friends

Posted by Matt at 14:28 on 10 Dec 2013
A rant about exclusive DLC, featuring MGS5 and friends
ANGRY WORDS, more like.

Only two years late: Battlefield 3

Posted by Matt at 10:52 on 04 Oct 2013
Only two years late: Battlefield 3
What what, Battlefield Four is out soon I see, and there's a Betamax version out NOW, which might get played and screamed at soon. That's way too topical for this moment though, so instead here's a delicious snapshot of yesteryear, as we slip back into the void of days of yore. To Colonial times! It's Battlefield 3.

Lookback: Left 4 Dead

Posted by Gerard at 14:08 on 11 Jan 2012
Lookback: Left 4 Dead
Put on your time-reversal hat and take a trip with me through the temporal mists, back to an age where the Source engine was king, when Walter Cronkite and Michael Jackson were still alive, before Iceland's banks collapsed or Greenlandic became a language. It's 2008, little boy.

Hello - Battlefield 3

Posted by Alex at 21:35 on 01 Nov 2011
Hello - Battlefield 3
Shoot a man. Arm a thing. Crash a helicopter. Shout at a TV. Unlock a robot. Maintain a server. Win a match with zero reinforcement tickets left and squeal with delight like a little girl. Arc a couple of RPGs perfectly over the crest of a sand dune into a big stupid tank and giggle as the points start gushing into your face. It's Battlefield 3.

Goodbye - Dark Souls

Posted by Gerard at 14:43 on 26 Oct 2011
Goodbye - Dark Souls
And right on schedule, I finished Dark Souls. It's been like an intoxicating teenage summer romance - filled with laughter, tears, strangely vivid dreams and endless, endless stabbings. Don't worry, the forced relationship metaphor doesn't crop up again until the last paragraph!

Goodbye - Deus Ex Human Revolution

Posted by Gerard at 15:57 on 05 Oct 2011
Goodbye - Deus Ex Human Revolution
You thought we'd peaked with that cables article, huh? Well prepare to be vindicated. I've had a couple of weeks to mull over the new Deus Ex after finishing it, so my mind thoughts have ripened and now I'm ready to peel back the skin and reveal their fetid stench to your nostrils

Borderlands 2 Announced

Posted by Gerard at 15:13 on 03 Aug 2011
Borderlands 2 Announced
Shoot a man, kill a robot, find a gun, throw a bat, do an invisible - it's all coming back. A "no-brainer" sequel to man-shooting FPS Borderlands is in the offing, and I've got information nuggets for you to dip in your brain ketchup

Review: L.A. Noire, and the trouble with consequences

Posted by Gerard at 14:35 on 03 Jun 2011
L.A. Noire, and the trouble with consequences
Solve a crime, shoot a man, do a chase. It's L.A. in the 40s, you're a detective. Crouch over a naked body for an hour, who's to say it's not police work? I'm a cop you idiot! Hey what size are your feet?

Review: Dragon Age 2

Posted by Gerard at 13:30 on 31 Mar 2011
Dragon Age 2
I know sales of Dragon Age 2 have been ailing because you're all waiting for this review before you make your decisions. That's a long sentence! No more of those inside - it's just pictures of me making faces at the case.

New Skyrim trailer makes me do a wet

Posted by Gerard at 15:45 on 24 Feb 2011
New Skyrim trailer makes me do a wet
Prepare the towels, gentleman, she's giving birth